Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
On American Imperialism
On American Imperialism
By Adora Svitak
Recently, I’ve been thinking about colonizing several small Pacific islands. They should preferably come with cheap labor, hot sunny beaches, and flourishing fruit crops. If small Pacific islands are out of supply, I might think about grabbing some territory from Mexico. According to history, it shouldn’t be too hard—after all, the United States did it.
By Adora Svitak
Recently, I’ve been thinking about colonizing several small Pacific islands. They should preferably come with cheap labor, hot sunny beaches, and flourishing fruit crops. If small Pacific islands are out of supply, I might think about grabbing some territory from Mexico. According to history, it shouldn’t be too hard—after all, the United States did it.
The U.S.’s only problem with these formerly Mexican territories is illegal immigration. Personally, I wouldn’t want to cross over from Mexico. Firstly, there’s the desert, then there’s a giant fence (although that’s not the hardest part), and border patrol agents. But, of course, people do all kinds of crazy things for a better life. What strikes me as odd is that New Mexico, California, Arizona, and Texas all used to be parts of Mexico. So what’s our big problem with “illegal” immigrants just occupying land that we took from them anyway?
The United States is all about freedom, liberty, etc. This seems reasonable. However, it seems like we’ve done a pretty bad job of showing our sentiments to the rest of the free world.
For example, we basically stole Texas from Mexico in the Mexican-American War. The United States revolted against Britain because we thought they had unfair control of our land. It seems a little hypocritical to me that we then went and stole someone else’s territory.
But it gets worse (or better, depending on how you look at it). After the Spanish-American War, we managed to colonize the Philippines, Cuba, Puerto Rico, and Guam. I have to ask: isn’t this starting to look a little too British?
I guess that we just really liked taking over small defenseless islands or something, because in 1893 resident American businessmen overthrew the monarchy of the Kingdom of Hawaii and annexed Hawaii to the U.S.
Oh, not only do we like acting the colonizer, we like meddling in other countries’ affairs too. Iran was a country rich and wealthy—with oil, that is. Who could resist? So the American oil companies moved in and started drilling oil. Then the Prime Minister, who had the good sense to think that Iranian oil should go to the Iranian people, nationalized the oil reserves. What do we do when a legitimate government officer does something we don’t agree with? Depose him or her, of course. The prime minister was arrested; we gave the ruthless Shah more power, and his secret police went around killing anyone who disagreed with him. Sounds like the American idea of freedom and liberty, right?
Oh, not only do we like acting the colonizer, we like meddling in other countries’ affairs too. Iran was a country rich and wealthy—with oil, that is. Who could resist? So the American oil companies moved in and started drilling oil. Then the Prime Minister, who had the good sense to think that Iranian oil should go to the Iranian people, nationalized the oil reserves. What do we do when a legitimate government officer does something we don’t agree with? Depose him or her, of course. The prime minister was arrested; we gave the ruthless Shah more power, and his secret police went around killing anyone who disagreed with him. Sounds like the American idea of freedom and liberty, right?
Another example of American meddling comes from the Vietnam War. We were so worried about Communism spreading and the “domino effect” that we invaded Vietnam needlessly. Probably the only good thing that came out of that war was the end of the military draft.
Maybe instead of stealing land from other people, we should try to improve what we already have. The United States could use some improving.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Three Poems
Three Poems
Svitak, Adora
Sharpshooter's spectacles
Proud brass buttons
Shortages and heavy-caliber rifles.
Gray, gray linen shirt
And a Springfield Rifle tall;
Decorative buck tails are trifles.
Light cavalry saber that glints in the sun.
Who knows what it could have done.
It's funny but kids like the big guns best.
They play on the wood axle shields
And turn the iron-banded whells.
Pow! Pow! go the guns
And the ironclads last;
A voltigeur's fight, and the Civil War's past.
-----
I believe that that poem needs some explanation. If you're wondering about all the weird Civil War specific weaponry I included in it, it was because the class activity was to use specific language from reference books to write a poem. My book was about the Civil War.
-----
In the depths of Rajasthan
In the shadows of Ranthambore
On the turf of the Gobblededook,
A raven croaked and sped off to the shore.
My mother told me to stay away
From the Gobblededook and his ire
But that had always been my dream--
And such dreams never tire.
At the door of the Gobblededook
A door an evil black like coal,
I trembled and I knocked and then--
The Gobblededook ate me whole!
-----
If you're wondering about the "Rathambore" and "Rajasthan", Rajasthan is a state of India and Rathambore is a tiger preserve in Rajasthan that I read about in Time magazine. We were supposed to choose words that we liked from an article that we liked and use them in a poem.
-----
To be eleven, oh so grand,
And high-and-mighty, vorpal;
To lord it over wee bugflies
And have no lack of torpor;
Stare at grass and daffodils
And bees that rumble-bumble;
The snakes that crawl, and stove the kettle
For squat birches that do sing
Shall welcome thou, and didst
Eleven is too, certainly
of certainty,
Peas Porridge Hot will solve it all,
Now listen to your mother's call.
-----
This was actually the first poem that I wrote of these three. In this class activity, we listened to the poem "Jabberwocky" and came up with words that we liked the sound of. Some of my words, as you may have guessed, were "Peas Porridge Hot", bugflies, and kettle. (Bugflies, by the way, is not a real word).
Svitak, Adora
Sharpshooter's spectacles
Proud brass buttons
Shortages and heavy-caliber rifles.
Gray, gray linen shirt
And a Springfield Rifle tall;
Decorative buck tails are trifles.
Light cavalry saber that glints in the sun.
Who knows what it could have done.
It's funny but kids like the big guns best.
They play on the wood axle shields
And turn the iron-banded whells.
Pow! Pow! go the guns
And the ironclads last;
A voltigeur's fight, and the Civil War's past.
-----
I believe that that poem needs some explanation. If you're wondering about all the weird Civil War specific weaponry I included in it, it was because the class activity was to use specific language from reference books to write a poem. My book was about the Civil War.
-----
In the depths of Rajasthan
In the shadows of Ranthambore
On the turf of the Gobblededook,
A raven croaked and sped off to the shore.
My mother told me to stay away
From the Gobblededook and his ire
But that had always been my dream--
And such dreams never tire.
At the door of the Gobblededook
A door an evil black like coal,
I trembled and I knocked and then--
The Gobblededook ate me whole!
-----
If you're wondering about the "Rathambore" and "Rajasthan", Rajasthan is a state of India and Rathambore is a tiger preserve in Rajasthan that I read about in Time magazine. We were supposed to choose words that we liked from an article that we liked and use them in a poem.
-----
To be eleven, oh so grand,
And high-and-mighty, vorpal;
To lord it over wee bugflies
And have no lack of torpor;
Stare at grass and daffodils
And bees that rumble-bumble;
The snakes that crawl, and stove the kettle
For squat birches that do sing
Shall welcome thou, and didst
Eleven is too, certainly
of certainty,
Peas Porridge Hot will solve it all,
Now listen to your mother's call.
-----
This was actually the first poem that I wrote of these three. In this class activity, we listened to the poem "Jabberwocky" and came up with words that we liked the sound of. Some of my words, as you may have guessed, were "Peas Porridge Hot", bugflies, and kettle. (Bugflies, by the way, is not a real word).
Monday, June 09, 2008
Katie's writing inspired by a picture
Bauml, Katie
Writing inspired by a picture
It was a warm, sunny evening in Okinawa, Japan. The sun was high in the sky. In the nice reddish glow you could make out a tall red and pink temple. Inside the temple you could hear many people talking and eating cucumber sushi and Ori. Lower to the ground was a white house with red trim and a purple roof. It was a bath house, an addition to the temple. All around the temple were short, round Japanese maples. During the day time they would have been the color of blood but at this time of the evening some were light pink with a trim of blinding white and others were deep purple with a light pink trim. Behind the bath house you could see a mountain which looked like a very obese purple pencil with white lead. The sky was a multi-color rainbow. At the horizon it was yellow, almost white, but only a few feet higher the sky turned into a light pink which looked like the leaves on cherry trees in spring. Then farther up the sky was a sea of bright red which looked as though time had stopped and if time had not been stopped the sky would have engulfed the sun. The red blended with the pink, so some was pink, some was red, and in between there was a fuchsia color.
Monday, June 02, 2008
9 Alternate Hooks to Start Snow White
1. Blood bloomed in the snow.
2. Snow white was as pretty and empty as the glass box that would one day be her home.
3. Where does beauty end and ugliness begin?
4. Who was the fairest of them all? You and I know the answer, but hind site is 20/20. In the queen's day, when Snowwhite was just a child, the question was the beginning of a favorite debate.
5. Arbarizan was the kind of land where time seemed to move slowly or not at all.
6. The crack of icy branches made Snowwhite's heart leap. Her sweat smelled like fear as she stood frozen in the winter woods.
7. Sallow, morose, and astonishingly bitter, Snowwhite was an unattractive child.
8. Shakespeare said that all the world's a stage. The stepmother agreed.
9. Snowwhite could not distinguish between her footsteps on the frozen ground and the beating of her own heart.
2. Snow white was as pretty and empty as the glass box that would one day be her home.
3. Where does beauty end and ugliness begin?
4. Who was the fairest of them all? You and I know the answer, but hind site is 20/20. In the queen's day, when Snowwhite was just a child, the question was the beginning of a favorite debate.
5. Arbarizan was the kind of land where time seemed to move slowly or not at all.
6. The crack of icy branches made Snowwhite's heart leap. Her sweat smelled like fear as she stood frozen in the winter woods.
7. Sallow, morose, and astonishingly bitter, Snowwhite was an unattractive child.
8. Shakespeare said that all the world's a stage. The stepmother agreed.
9. Snowwhite could not distinguish between her footsteps on the frozen ground and the beating of her own heart.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Point of View of a Teacher in Rome
Point of View of a Teacher in Rome
Svitak, Adora
I disliked the children who slumped in their chairs and paid as much attention to me as a dead man would to flies. They showed no interest in learning and I wished that I could smack them on the head with their own impertinence. But no; their parents were rich, and I would be reprimanded severely and never allowed inside again.
A child's lack of interest made me bored as well. At least I taught them outside in their gardens by the peristyle, where I could hear the sounds of Rome, hear our city speak. One particular child, Augustus, was quite a bother. He acted as though he were both blind and deaf, for he did not even try to observe the things going around him. I was more than happy to take a break to smell the colorful flowers in the garden and to converse with a lady fishmonger, Octavia, who I knew well. Octavia had come into the courtyard looking for some dropped possessions; Octavia was always losing things. I helped her to look for them. I knelt down on my knees and poked around in the rose and laurel bushes, trying to talk to Octavia as I looked. Perhaps fishmongers were among the ones "least worthy of approval" but they received fairer pay than I and I was dying for intelligent conversation.
Unfortunately Octavia was lethargic that day. She had pursed lips and spoke with as few words as seemed possible. I asked her a question; she said "yes" or "no" or "I don't know." I finally found Octavia’s “possessions”—a dirty toga, a few coins, and a pair of spare sandals—inside a bag close to the stone walls that surrounded the courtyard. I had always been a little wary of the walls; the stones were never properly chinked, made in a hurry for Augustus’s family. I threw the bag to Octavia, who caught it promptly.
“What’s that noise?” Augustus's mother, Pompeiia, a cheery and outspoken lady, called from the window. “Oh, good to see you both. I’ll be coming down with some wine and bread for Augustus.” Soon Pompeiia was in the courtyard. She gave the bread and wine to Augustus, then addressed us.
"It is wonderful to see you,” Pompeiia said brightly. “My husband and I are having a conflict of interest, so if you would just give the fish to the cook instead of bringing it to him for approval first, I'd appreciate it."
"If you don't mind me asking, what kind of conflict of interest?" Octavia asked sharply. "Oh, well, he is talking, in such a silly way, about taking Augustus on his ship soon, so naturally I broke a vase over his head," Pompeiia said lightly. "Would you like any quail?"
I could barely hold in my laughter, of course. Pompeiia shrugged, as though breaking a vase over one's husband's head were something that a Roman woman did every day. Augustus sat in his chair looking petrified and did not appear to have heard. Pompeiia shook him roughly.
"Wake up, you louse!" she shouted in annoyance. Pompeiia was incredibly mercurial and could change from cheerful to annoyed any minute.
We heard humming from under one of the laurel bushes and we jumped. Soon a lady emerged and began viciously breaking off laurel branches, until she noticed us. It was Pompeiia’s unmarried half-sister, Tiberia. "Pompeiia, I thought you were going to the baths," Tiberia said in surprise, looking embarrassed.”
"Goodness, Tiberia, I would have thought that you knew that was a joke. The baths are closed today. Hasn't your mind gained some experience?" Pompeiia said snidely.
"You horrid beast pig!" Tiberia shouted. Both Tiberia and Pompeiia tended to call each other names. "How dare you insult me?"
"And you, Tiberia!" Pompeiia said, and turned her back on Tiberia pointedly. Augustus sniggered. Everyone turned to look at him, and he turned bright red. I sighed and imagined that I could break a vase over Augustus's head just as the badly chinked stone walls of the villa began to collapse around us.
Svitak, Adora
I disliked the children who slumped in their chairs and paid as much attention to me as a dead man would to flies. They showed no interest in learning and I wished that I could smack them on the head with their own impertinence. But no; their parents were rich, and I would be reprimanded severely and never allowed inside again.
A child's lack of interest made me bored as well. At least I taught them outside in their gardens by the peristyle, where I could hear the sounds of Rome, hear our city speak. One particular child, Augustus, was quite a bother. He acted as though he were both blind and deaf, for he did not even try to observe the things going around him. I was more than happy to take a break to smell the colorful flowers in the garden and to converse with a lady fishmonger, Octavia, who I knew well. Octavia had come into the courtyard looking for some dropped possessions; Octavia was always losing things. I helped her to look for them. I knelt down on my knees and poked around in the rose and laurel bushes, trying to talk to Octavia as I looked. Perhaps fishmongers were among the ones "least worthy of approval" but they received fairer pay than I and I was dying for intelligent conversation.
Unfortunately Octavia was lethargic that day. She had pursed lips and spoke with as few words as seemed possible. I asked her a question; she said "yes" or "no" or "I don't know." I finally found Octavia’s “possessions”—a dirty toga, a few coins, and a pair of spare sandals—inside a bag close to the stone walls that surrounded the courtyard. I had always been a little wary of the walls; the stones were never properly chinked, made in a hurry for Augustus’s family. I threw the bag to Octavia, who caught it promptly.
“What’s that noise?” Augustus's mother, Pompeiia, a cheery and outspoken lady, called from the window. “Oh, good to see you both. I’ll be coming down with some wine and bread for Augustus.” Soon Pompeiia was in the courtyard. She gave the bread and wine to Augustus, then addressed us.
"It is wonderful to see you,” Pompeiia said brightly. “My husband and I are having a conflict of interest, so if you would just give the fish to the cook instead of bringing it to him for approval first, I'd appreciate it."
"If you don't mind me asking, what kind of conflict of interest?" Octavia asked sharply. "Oh, well, he is talking, in such a silly way, about taking Augustus on his ship soon, so naturally I broke a vase over his head," Pompeiia said lightly. "Would you like any quail?"
I could barely hold in my laughter, of course. Pompeiia shrugged, as though breaking a vase over one's husband's head were something that a Roman woman did every day. Augustus sat in his chair looking petrified and did not appear to have heard. Pompeiia shook him roughly.
"Wake up, you louse!" she shouted in annoyance. Pompeiia was incredibly mercurial and could change from cheerful to annoyed any minute.
We heard humming from under one of the laurel bushes and we jumped. Soon a lady emerged and began viciously breaking off laurel branches, until she noticed us. It was Pompeiia’s unmarried half-sister, Tiberia. "Pompeiia, I thought you were going to the baths," Tiberia said in surprise, looking embarrassed.”
"Goodness, Tiberia, I would have thought that you knew that was a joke. The baths are closed today. Hasn't your mind gained some experience?" Pompeiia said snidely.
"You horrid beast pig!" Tiberia shouted. Both Tiberia and Pompeiia tended to call each other names. "How dare you insult me?"
"And you, Tiberia!" Pompeiia said, and turned her back on Tiberia pointedly. Augustus sniggered. Everyone turned to look at him, and he turned bright red. I sighed and imagined that I could break a vase over Augustus's head just as the badly chinked stone walls of the villa began to collapse around us.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Compare-Contrast: Dragon vs. Magic Carpet
With an ear-splitting roar and a scorching burst of fire, your vehicle lunges through the air, heading straight for an office building. With a sparkling explosion of glass, you careen through the sixth story window and slide into your office, kicking up whirlwinds of paperwork and landing right at your boss’s feet. If this sounds a little too theatrical for your tastes, you might want to consider a more laid back form of transportation such as, say, a magic carpet. Although there are similarities shared by both the magic carpet and the dragon, there are several factors that make these modes of transportation dramatically different.
The environmentally friendly magic carpet offers comfort and low resistance efficiency. Unfortunately, safety isn’t one of the magic carpet’s strong qualities. The magic carpet is not very safe. As Axminister magazine points out, the magic carpet had low safety ratings due to its flimsy Chinese-made material that flips over and tears easily. There are no seatbelts on your standard magic carpet. As one traumatized woman pointed out, “It’s [the magic carpet] flat, there’s…nothing to hang on to when you fall.”
Whatever the magic carpet lacks in safety, it makes up in comfort. Your average magic carpet is silky soft, which virtually eliminates travel sores when riding on it. The standard magic carpet is also typically flat, which allows you to sprawl out. This is useful for red-eye flights on the magic carpet.
It’s not just comfort that makes the magic carpet valuable. Your average magic carpet is very efficient. The standard magic carpet can go up to 150 mph. In this day and age, the environment is one of our top issues. Unlike many other modes of transportation, the magic carpet does not need fuel and it is emissions-neutral. Not to mention the money you’ll save on gas. But money isn’t one of our most important issues—in a recent poll, more people said that they’d like more time than those who wanted more money. The magic carpet can accommodate those wishes—you hardly need any prep time at all to get the magic carpet up and running. All you have to do is jump on… and voila! Plus, the magic carpet doesn’t take up much space at all. Once you’ve arrived at your destination, all you have to do is roll up the magic carpet and stuff it in your backpack.
Sitting up on your magic carpet, you fly through the open door and land lightly. A few people remark, “Nice magic carpet,” but most people barely glance and hurry to get to the elevator. The magic carpet is a fairly laidback way to travel. All magic carpets have intricate Islamic-style geometric patterns but, as popular TV pundit Ali Baba remarked, “they’re pretty, but not too dramatic.” Because of that, riding on a magic carpet isn’t likely to make a huge splash. They’re not too easily seen in the air, and when you fly low, it looks like you’re just sitting down somewhere. They have light colors, so they won’t exactly grab people’s attention.
For those of you who’d like something a little more exciting, you’re probably leaning toward the dragon already. But unfortunately the dragon is unsafe. Many dragons tend to have a psychological need to prove themselves, and often show off by doing dangerous stunts in the air like flips, dives, and spins. Sometimes, dragons also close their eyes while doing stunts, presenting a great danger to the rider. If you aren’t severely injured when a dragon does a stunt, the dragon may finish you off with its giant and powerful tail, which stretches fully backwards and can easily whip you off the dragon’s back. Dragons also belch fire. If you are sitting near the dragon’s head or the dragon is trying to face you, your clothes may be ignited. This is especially bad in the air, because the winds may spread the fire and you might not be able to put the fire out. Dragons often feel hostile toward their owners and may try to eat you while in the air. They are excellent hunters and can easily do this by knocking you off their back and then catching you in their mouth.
Unlike the magic carpet, the dragon is not very comfortable. It has rough scales like sandpaper that may rub against your skin. Dragons consistently grow horns throughout their life all over their body, so you might find a horn digging into your leg during a flight on a dragon. During the flight, you have to sit astride with your legs wrapped around the dragon’s wide body, which can easily give you leg cramps. As Alisha Morton said, “I’d rather take an international magic carpet than a commuter dragon. Those dragons are too darn uncomfortable for any flight!”
Just when you may be thinking that a dragon cannot get any worse, you realize something—the dragon is not nearly as efficient as the magic carpet. After all, you need to feed the dragon huge amounts of food, and dragons prefer eating whole animals as opposed to human portions. After eating such huge meals, it’s no surprise that dragons produce copious amounts of dung and urine. Unfortunately, you’ll be the one to clean that up. To ride a dragon, you must first set up your riding equipment—like your saddle, bridle, reins, spurs, and whip. Even the most expert of dragon riders usually take more than twenty minutes preparing riding equipment—and what if your dragon is being especially rebellious while you’re trying to prepare it for riding? Dragons are typically pretty rebellious. Even with your reins, it’s immensely difficult to control where dragons go, so they usually go wherever they please. When riding on a dragon to go to a beach four miles away, one family found themselves deserted in a bog in another state and had to wait two hours for their dragon to come back.
Dragons are illegal in Italy, Portugal, Tanzania, Kazakhstan, and Guatemala. If you intend to bend the law a bit, or even if you just want to stable your dragon legally, there’s still the issue of storing your dragon. They’re amazingly difficult to store—they make lots of noise, take up lots of room, and are hard to herd into enclosed areas.
Still, if you have a daredevil personality and you don’t mind hard work, the dragon might be the right vehicle for you. As we saw before, the dragon is an impressive mode of travel. They belch fire, announcing your presence to everyone around. They are huge and impressive looking, with their brightly colored scales and large, strong feet. They are very showy, doing stunts whenever they can. As very volatile creatures, the dragon will give you a rebellious, gallant, and daredevil image.
Magic carpets are probably better suited to families or children, whereas the dragon is great to make a point and show off—teenagers will probably find that useful. Whether you decide to ride the magic carpet or the dragon, we wish you happy flying.
The environmentally friendly magic carpet offers comfort and low resistance efficiency. Unfortunately, safety isn’t one of the magic carpet’s strong qualities. The magic carpet is not very safe. As Axminister magazine points out, the magic carpet had low safety ratings due to its flimsy Chinese-made material that flips over and tears easily. There are no seatbelts on your standard magic carpet. As one traumatized woman pointed out, “It’s [the magic carpet] flat, there’s…nothing to hang on to when you fall.”
Whatever the magic carpet lacks in safety, it makes up in comfort. Your average magic carpet is silky soft, which virtually eliminates travel sores when riding on it. The standard magic carpet is also typically flat, which allows you to sprawl out. This is useful for red-eye flights on the magic carpet.
It’s not just comfort that makes the magic carpet valuable. Your average magic carpet is very efficient. The standard magic carpet can go up to 150 mph. In this day and age, the environment is one of our top issues. Unlike many other modes of transportation, the magic carpet does not need fuel and it is emissions-neutral. Not to mention the money you’ll save on gas. But money isn’t one of our most important issues—in a recent poll, more people said that they’d like more time than those who wanted more money. The magic carpet can accommodate those wishes—you hardly need any prep time at all to get the magic carpet up and running. All you have to do is jump on… and voila! Plus, the magic carpet doesn’t take up much space at all. Once you’ve arrived at your destination, all you have to do is roll up the magic carpet and stuff it in your backpack.
Sitting up on your magic carpet, you fly through the open door and land lightly. A few people remark, “Nice magic carpet,” but most people barely glance and hurry to get to the elevator. The magic carpet is a fairly laidback way to travel. All magic carpets have intricate Islamic-style geometric patterns but, as popular TV pundit Ali Baba remarked, “they’re pretty, but not too dramatic.” Because of that, riding on a magic carpet isn’t likely to make a huge splash. They’re not too easily seen in the air, and when you fly low, it looks like you’re just sitting down somewhere. They have light colors, so they won’t exactly grab people’s attention.
For those of you who’d like something a little more exciting, you’re probably leaning toward the dragon already. But unfortunately the dragon is unsafe. Many dragons tend to have a psychological need to prove themselves, and often show off by doing dangerous stunts in the air like flips, dives, and spins. Sometimes, dragons also close their eyes while doing stunts, presenting a great danger to the rider. If you aren’t severely injured when a dragon does a stunt, the dragon may finish you off with its giant and powerful tail, which stretches fully backwards and can easily whip you off the dragon’s back. Dragons also belch fire. If you are sitting near the dragon’s head or the dragon is trying to face you, your clothes may be ignited. This is especially bad in the air, because the winds may spread the fire and you might not be able to put the fire out. Dragons often feel hostile toward their owners and may try to eat you while in the air. They are excellent hunters and can easily do this by knocking you off their back and then catching you in their mouth.
Unlike the magic carpet, the dragon is not very comfortable. It has rough scales like sandpaper that may rub against your skin. Dragons consistently grow horns throughout their life all over their body, so you might find a horn digging into your leg during a flight on a dragon. During the flight, you have to sit astride with your legs wrapped around the dragon’s wide body, which can easily give you leg cramps. As Alisha Morton said, “I’d rather take an international magic carpet than a commuter dragon. Those dragons are too darn uncomfortable for any flight!”
Just when you may be thinking that a dragon cannot get any worse, you realize something—the dragon is not nearly as efficient as the magic carpet. After all, you need to feed the dragon huge amounts of food, and dragons prefer eating whole animals as opposed to human portions. After eating such huge meals, it’s no surprise that dragons produce copious amounts of dung and urine. Unfortunately, you’ll be the one to clean that up. To ride a dragon, you must first set up your riding equipment—like your saddle, bridle, reins, spurs, and whip. Even the most expert of dragon riders usually take more than twenty minutes preparing riding equipment—and what if your dragon is being especially rebellious while you’re trying to prepare it for riding? Dragons are typically pretty rebellious. Even with your reins, it’s immensely difficult to control where dragons go, so they usually go wherever they please. When riding on a dragon to go to a beach four miles away, one family found themselves deserted in a bog in another state and had to wait two hours for their dragon to come back.
Dragons are illegal in Italy, Portugal, Tanzania, Kazakhstan, and Guatemala. If you intend to bend the law a bit, or even if you just want to stable your dragon legally, there’s still the issue of storing your dragon. They’re amazingly difficult to store—they make lots of noise, take up lots of room, and are hard to herd into enclosed areas.
Still, if you have a daredevil personality and you don’t mind hard work, the dragon might be the right vehicle for you. As we saw before, the dragon is an impressive mode of travel. They belch fire, announcing your presence to everyone around. They are huge and impressive looking, with their brightly colored scales and large, strong feet. They are very showy, doing stunts whenever they can. As very volatile creatures, the dragon will give you a rebellious, gallant, and daredevil image.
Magic carpets are probably better suited to families or children, whereas the dragon is great to make a point and show off—teenagers will probably find that useful. Whether you decide to ride the magic carpet or the dragon, we wish you happy flying.
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