while the beast isn't here to guard the fortress....

Since, I suppose, this is a school blog, I will not post anything relating to me exactly. I will write only by the school me. Anyways, I suppose I have to get started. Geez, I can't write about how it's the first day of summer, either. Alright. I can't spell words wrong or get my grammar messed up or uncapitalize or capitalize in the wrong places. I could write about after school today....well, basically, I was just pushing Adora and Katie on the swing. Katie got sort of crazy and started singing about how she was so loopy. It sounded like she was hopelessly drunk. Looked like it, too: she was swinging and looping around and bobbling her head and swinging wildly. Not to mention the singing, which I already mention.
"mama had a baby and the babie's head went POP!!" She did that with a weed, actually. Katie did. Then again she does that 10 times a day. Really, actually, I have to say, today really is summer. I keep forgetting it's technically spring, though of course, it's not. My way, anyway. Maybe it's the weather...but don't get me wrong, I think I'll be walking around in shorts and a t shirt and bare feet until i'm murdered or something. Unless I die freezing my feet off. I meant I'm going to walk around with summer clothes on till winter. Which makes sense too much, because, isn't everyone going to do that? I mean, except in Alaska of course. Well, it was fun in school, too, I guess, cause me and Adora and Katie got to teach. Adora was first, of course, and began talking with a highly professional groan-ish voice. Sounded a lot like my mother, maybe genes? Groan meaning grown up, of course. Highly professional stick-your-nose-up grown up. Of course, not all adults are like that. The Beast, for example, isn't. Getting off subject here. I went next, with a presentation about Harry Houdini, which I thought was cool myself. I mean, doing it myself. Presenting it was a different story. Well, the website with Harry Houdini was neat, because it fooled with your brain and made you see Harry Houdini's ghost, which totally rocked. Even though I knew it was only fooling with our brains. It looked really real, though. http://www.houdinitribute.com/img/magicpic.jpg

well I gotta go.

Lesson Plan April 27th

Lesson Plan:
Writing based on feeling. Listen to two songs and write something inspired by the way they make you feel.
Music History Continued: Music and Politics. The 60's and Vietnam.
Discussion Question: Why do humans constantly copy and then distort or enhance the things that they encounter?
Review: early influences on country music, slavery's influence on the history of modern music.
Descriptive writing exercises.
Gangs of New York.

Vapid Vocabulary

Adrianna's starkly furnished execution hall was cold and drafty, serving as both a jail and a death camp.

Angelina furtively sidled up to Mr. Arthur Rekcuf and proposed marriage.

Azzi ate a modicum of the beast and left the rest of the decaying spiky flesh for her fellow classmates.

There was a modicum of applause for the unskilled Barbie, after which Ken announced he was mutating into a Paris Hilton clone and divorcing Barbie.

The vultures were itinerant, but often traveled up north to eat deviled beasties.

The itinerant birds remarked that their only permanent resting place was the grave.

Eve's room was stark after the Beast devoured all of her stuff.

Secret agent paco was crummy at his job, but furtive enough to evade capture.

Quiz

1. Name one person who instigated Mexico's War of independence.

2. Which of the following creatures could be described as 'truculent':
a)bambi
b)beastie
c) Laura Bush

3. Name one influence on early country music:

4. What did Mary Read and Edward Teach have in common?

5. Early U.S immigrants often came from: (list at least three countries)

6. What is a coyote? (slang term)

7. Use puerile in a sentence.

8. Why were there more pirates during times of peace?

9. Name at least one problem associated with rabbits:

10. Name one historical figure who was probably a hedonist:

11. Use avant-garde in a sentence.

Lesson Plan April 26th

Adora and Adrianna-15 minutes study time for quiz.
Katie: Homework and reading
Adora and Adrianna-Quiz
American Music History Continued:
Western Swing: Where Jazz and 'Country' Meet
The influence of cinema on the evolution of country music
The Roots of Rock: Slavery and The Blues
Assignment: Choose musician and research a presentation for the class.

Lesson Plan April 25

Adora and Adrianna: Use notebooks to review for tomorrow's test.
Adora and Adriann: Find replacements for offensive language on class blog.
Katie: Homework and reading.
If time: Adora, science-Adrianna-geography
2nd Hour
A History of American Music Part I
The roots of country music: English Ballads and Minstrel Shows
The Story of Fiddlin' John Carson
Assignment: Write a description of an old fashioned ho down, including a character description of an old fashioned performer.
Class Discussion: Why do humans constantly copy and then change the things/music/artwork/tools they discover during their lives?

A Bunch of Crap: The WASL

This year’s WASL is making everybody horribly excited, and I’m no exception. I simply love sitting all day in a stuffy and overheated room with a bunch of devilish, rowdy children giving me funny looks all day. It’s so fun being dragged into PE, where I accidentally trip teammates, stand motionless and confused on the front line, get shouted at and called out, and am purposely knocked over numerous times by annoyed people. Music is even better, with us all singing sentimental, boring Charlotte’s Web songs stating that we are all the same and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
It’s wonderful reading through banal stories saying, “Dick put her in a tub. She climbed out. He put her in the tub again. She climbed out again,” and answering easy and boring questions. I would hate reading interesting epic tales of bastards turned brownies, pickpocket princesses, and tragedies telling of diabolical magistrates rising to the chair of Supreme King of the World while the Good Side were tortured and killed.
Math is perfect, with questions asking 1+1 and 1-1 which I at least have the ability to finish in a few minutes. There are delightful coin problems which I learned at five or something and a bunch of other idiotic things which are obviously created by a couple jackasses with no intention of creating a interesting curriculum for the students of various schools.

good god, everyones gone crazy...

The WASL should be banned. Seriously. Kids are getting toxic waste pushed up their brains from taking it. First of all, the WASL is way too easy. Calling the WASL WASL is a joke. Washington Assesment of Student Learning. I mean really…come on! Who’s learning anything?
The ‘stories’ in them are banal and awful and for babies. They expect kids to read this stuff? They put a Cinderella story in the 5th grade WASL! What the hell? Don’t they know that most 5th graders are reading things like Jane Eyre and Go Ask Alice and The Great Cheese Conspiracy? Obviously not. And the word problems…are retarded! The people that made the WASL must be evil retarded bitches. But that is sort of obvious.

~by adrianna

Lesson Plan April 21st

Mexican History Continued: Miguel Hidalgo and the War of Independence.
Writing an editorial. Review comedic editorials by Dave Barry.
What is an editorial?
What is your purpose when writing this?
What are ways to convince the reader of something?
Who is your audience?
Mexico Game: Logical thinking skills and cultural history.
Gangs of New York: Cultural History and sentence deconstruction.

Violent Vocabulary

Due to her derogatory, vapid speeches Adrianna was thrown from the stage and into the bog. She was, unluckily, lucid enough to continue with her speech, and we all threw a few sharp stones at her. Unfortunately, her blood began to coagulate and soon stopped altogether.

"You are an awful black-hearted jerk!" Adrianna's cat remarked in a derogatory fashion.

Adora plunged down into hell, but she was still completely lucid, and continued with her diatribe. She wanted to marry the devil, but their propinquity caused the archangel Gabriel to slide down a tunnel between the two dimensions to forbid it.

Adora's speech was awfully vapid, and she recieved hisses and boos from the audience.

Because of Adrianna and Adora's propinquity, they fought each other and eventually blew each other up.

THE UNWANTED DOOMPAPER-FORTELLING EPHEMERAL LIVES AND TORTUROUS DEATHS

An anonymous insider of RE from the Academy of Ominous and Forbidding Knowledge (a.k.a Seeds of Learning) shared secret information from the school with members of AOFK, relating to a miserable test, bad teachers, and one Stuart Little movie.

This information will be used in the comparison between regular schools and the quite superior Academy of Ominous and Forbidding Knowledge, and the anonymous insider will continue to feed us information relating to the subjects.


The Academy of Ominous and Forbidding Knowledge centers on unique things, such as the diligent studying of the gangs of New York, research on bunny rabbits, a scourge upon the land, and other such interesting subjects which have no chances of being taught at an elementary school such as RE.

Schools such as RE pay unskilled teachers to drone on and on and on about bad or good behavior and how one could improve while the students make faces, pass notes, throw spitballs, and do not pay attention in any way.

Schools such as RE have students watch Stuart Little movies in class, color pictures and draw and write stupid things and call it “learning” and act altogether idiotic in school hours.

The Sneaky Kleptomaniac Grumpy Dwarf
Pumpkinglasses

halleluja people!

The assignments I liked in School:
Mostly all the writing assignments. Mostly. The vocab...well, I'm sort of used to it. I hate math, of course, though. And Science and Geography. Hmm. I'm not so good at writing this stuff for the school blog, because, I have to write it proffesionally, which makes me sound like a two year old. I mean, you can't exactly write on a school blog about all the horrors of life. Uh. Back to the assignment. Okay, as I said, I exactly am terrified by even the mention of math or geometry or science. I am kind of getting off track aren't I? Why am I asking a blog? Hmm. Okay, anyway, back to the assignment for the third time. So.. I am terrified by writing in this blog. I can't really write anything good at all! Alright. My favorite subjects are writing. And. Thats it, cause Math and Science and Geography are basically the only subjects in school. Almost, anyways. Oh. And poetry. But that counts as writing. Goodbye for now, fella bambooswappers.

I'm finally pretty much done, I've wrote at least a page I guess---

\<~~~>/

Notes From Beastie

A disclaimer: for the time being my computer has a broken key, which happens to be the period key-Therefore, some of my posts may seem a bit Faulknerian, or perhaps have a Beat type flow-This is not me attempting to be avant garde-
Adora has suggested that we change the name of this blog from Seeds of Learning to 'The Academy of Hell', but somehow I doubt that that's going to bring in more students-She next suggested 'The Online Academy of Ominous and Forbidding Knowledge Compiled a Cult of Dignified Students and a Disgruntled Teacher', which sounds somewhat appropriate given some of our history lessons; however, cult is not a word that one generally wants associated with an afterschool program-

Lesson Plan April 20

Adrianna: Science
Adora: Geography
Darren: Project
Katie: Reading and Homework
Lucy: sentence Expansion Exercises
Vocabulary:
aberration
demagogue
altercation
chicanery
resilience
Writing exercise: (Points of view) Imagine a castle, any castle-Describe the castle from the point of view of a serf and from the point of view of a noble-
Now think about your audience- Who are you writing for?
Write a description of the same castle in letter form, but imagine you are writing to an alien who would have no concept of the cultural and architectural conventions of a castle-What would you have to explain?

Lesson Plan

Vocabulary:
redolent
ephemeral
verbose
conniving
Writing Project:
Review WASL test book and write a satirical version of the test-
review term: satire
Post best satire to class blog-
(throughout the course of class allow each student time to review class blog and make suggestions/comments)
Read from Gangs of New York and discuss (cultural history, understanding archaic sentance structure, descriptive writing, vocabulary)

WASL

It's WASL (Washington assessment of Student Learning) testing time, and kids everywhere are overjoyed-Here at Seeds of Learning we are so enthused about the WASL (which provides such scintillating reading material) that we are submitting our own test questions to the Washington State Education Board for review-

hoot

Warl
Werewolf Assessment of Retarded Learning

1 Did you know that 100% of evergreen trees are green?
Evergreen trees stay green all year, and they don’t even lose their leaves! Evergreens are everywhere. They are in parks, playgrounds, backyards, and sometimes even in Nursery’s!

2 Did you know that Evergreen trees give you oxygen to breathe? Actually, all trees do, but Evergreen trees give you the most! That is why most people do not cut down Evergreen trees, unless they want to.

3 Evergreen trees can be found almost everywhere! Did you know that they are the most popular trees in Washington?

4 Most people like evergreen trees very much and buy them to put in their house! Evergreen trees are very beautiful and you should love them!





1. What is the meaning of the word, beautiful, in part 4 of this selection?

(a) smelly
(b) cold
(c) pretty

2. What do you think trees means, from part 2 of this selection?

(a) odd
(b) cute
(c) a type of gigantic plant that has roots and leaves

3. What word do you think best describes this selection?

(a) confusing
(b) great
(c) neat

The Washington Retarded Student Test

Doors
By Mariannananananananananananananan Naananananaanananan

Did you know doors go back and forth? When somebody turns the doorknob and pulls, it opens! Magic! When somebody pushes on the doorknob, it closes! Isn’t it amazing?
Doors go like this because they are on hinges. Hinges need to be oiled. Hinges will creak if they are not oiled. Hinges are made by people out of materials.
Doors are useful in houses. We have them outside of rooms so that we have privacy. We don’t want other people seeing us do secret stuff.
Doors are wonderful. They are useful. Hurray for doors!

1) In this article, the author states we have doors outside of rooms because of what?
o We don’t want cats eating us.
o We don’t want to get out.
o We don’t want people seeing us do secret stuff.
1. In this article, the author states doors are on:
o Hinges
o Cakes
o Fingers
2. In this article, the author states doors go:
o Side to side
o Back and forth
o Tumbling all over the room
VIA FACSIMILE WRSL
SCHOOL MATERIALS: DO NOT COPY

Respectfully yours,
PrinciPAL marYann

1. HB 1516-2006 : AN ACT relating to creating an in-school policy allowing swearing of all manners;
2. BE IT ENACTED BY THE SEEDS OF LEARNING FIRST CONGRESS.
3. A new section is added to Chapter 59B.456 WML as follows:
4. (1) On all days of the year of the solar calendar swearing is to be observed without hinderance, protest, etc.;
5. (2) Annually swearing will be permitted in the prestigious Seeds of Learning school;
6. (3) Swearing mentioned will encompass a twenty-four hour day of not less then twenty-four hours.
7. (4) The dictator has the responsibility to ensure swearing, etc., etc. and all related are to be completely allowed in the school compound.

---------------------------------------END-------------------------------

A Horrifying Experience

My classmate is giving me venomous looks because of this title: "A Horrifying Experience"; however, I am forced to believe that a teacher talking to you in a condescending, fakely sweet honey-like voice and a bunch of reincarnations of G.L. (the human montrosity who used to torment students of S.O.L.) are anything but pleasant. Weird looks from kids when I asked whether I should spit out my gum drove me to believe that it could not be a wonderful experience.

On my first day of WASL testing at the mysterious and anonymous K.B.'s school I witnessed three boys wreaking havoc in a fairly large classroom with the teacher Instant Messaging or doing some shady business through it all. The only time she chose to bellow "Sit down facing the front!" was when we were all perfectly seated like a bunch of angels. Most of the kids were devils in disguise as angels, though.

Music was a complete bore, with a range of midgets to giants (all, apparently, eight or nine years old) singing idiotic and high-pitched babyish Charlotte's Web songs, as well as boys obnoxiously shouting they had to go to the bathroom along with some awful out-of-tune singing. I mouthed most of the words.

PE was alright although I kept on punching the ball to the side and knocking it into the clock, which had to be attended to by the frowning coach at once. I was not a complete failure, like the girl who accidentally threw the ball right down at her feet, but I didn't score any points either.

To all of you at R.E., sorry for this but this is really how I feel about your place.

Adora

Public Schools are confusing.

I had to go to the Redmond Elementary School on Monday, to take the WASL. I was worried that I would be late in finishing that session of the math test, but I was wrong. I had to read for an hour. I was in a room full of 4th graders. Only one other boy was in the 5th grade, taking the same boring test as me. Everyone was really quiet, I guess unlike Seeds of Leraning. I was kind of unused to raising my hand. When I was done I got to read. And read and read and read. Eventually my back got sore for sitting up for about 2 hours. I wanted to lie down and read but I didn't dare ask anybody if I could. So there I just sat and waited. That happened for about two days.
The test sessions aren't that hard, actually. Fairly easy, but awful boring. They use names like Lottie and Louis, Jane and Ann. Why can't they just use names like zilch and sfuzzi? Fails me. And those word problems...WHY would anyone want to test if grass grows better in less light or more light? WHY would anyone want to find out how to attract more birds to their yard? Jeez. Whoever out there who makes these tests, quit and let someone more interesting do it.

Rabbits

So do you think that rabbits are less insipid now that you know that they are an evil scourge upon the land?

Lesson Plan April 18th 2006-

Adora and Adrianna-Edhelper geography: South America.
Adora and Adrianna-Write blog entries for Seeds of Learning Blog describing their experiences visiting the school today. What did you observe about the lesson plan, social interaction, teachers' mannerisms etc? How did this compare to Seeds of Learning?
Katie-Reading, homework.
Read excerpt from 'Stone Animals'. Discuss.
Finish writing Bill, using formal terminology.
Cultural history, vocabulary, and deconstructing complex, archaic sentence structures: Read from 'Gangs of New York'.

The Republic of Seeds of Learning HB 1516-2006

The First Congress of Seeds of Learning met to debate HB 1516-2006, which was sponsored by Adrianna Svitak by request of the Civil Liberties Union. The first reading was held on April 14th and the bill was referred to The Committee of Ribald Language.

additional plan for class as per katie's easter request

The habits of rabbits and the rabbit's influence on the course of human history.

Lesson Plan, April 14th

First Hour of Class:
Adrianna-complete immigrant interview project, converting interview with Idianna into a profile.
Adora-Read Smithsonian article 'Return to the Reefs' and answer the following questions:
What is a coral reef?
How do reefs contribute to the economy?
What can be done to save the reefs?
Write five questions this article raises.

Katie-Reading, poetry, sentence completing using descriptive words.
2nd Hour of Class:
The Anatomy of a Bill
Lecture detailing how a bill progresses from inception to ballot (students take notes). Reference immigration bill currently being debated by congress.
Students create their own bills.
Literature comprehension: Read from 'Stone Animals' and discuss. Review the concept of symbolism.

A NEW SINISTER PLAN!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Be quiet anyone who dares oppose my genius ideas! You will feel a sudden and fatal pain in your head--the pain of the claw of our invincible Beastie splitting your skull and scattering your brains!

We are the greatest school in the world! Everyone who comes here will have a constantly growing and pulsing brain which can penetrate the minds of the wisest old sages!

ANYBODY WHO OPPOSES US WILL MEET THEIR IMMEDIATE DOOM! HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Top Spanish Sentence of the Day

Mi hermana esta en la jaula oleroso.

Today's Vocabulary

Paroxysm-
Adrianna was allergic to her smelly younger sister and was afflicted by a paroxysm of sneezing, coughing, and swearing each time Adora ventured near.

Onerous-
The massive black poodle was an onerous presence in the household, and gave the entire family a sense of impending doom.

Perspicacity-
Beastie had a certain lack of perspicacity; she failed to realize she was actually a beastie and spent most of her life pretending to be human.

Virago-
Felisa had not yet been presented with her morning coffee and was thus acting like a virago.

Vitriolic-
The electric eel had a bad attitude and was prone to making vitriolic remarks.

Dilettante-
Professor WigglyMumph claimed to know a great mixologist but he was really only a dilettante.

First Ever Entry on the Seeds of Learning Blog

Hello Students- I have a new diabolical plan. From now on we will post school assignments, propoganda, and other nefarious documents on our CLASS BLOG. This way we can read each others work and add suggestions. I said suggestions, not insults, you little cretins.